The doors open today. The opening inventory has been received in full. Every item came up the chute. Every item was inspected. Quantities are sufficient. The manifest follows.
RECEIVED: SURPLUS.
COOLER, CAN, FOAM-LINED — STANDARD ISSUE. Compliance equipment. See Rule SB-19.
MAT, DESK, LEDGER-RULED — STANDARD ISSUE. The ledger balances.
MUG, CERAMIC, 11 OZ. — STANDARD ISSUE. Holds 11 fluid ounces. Verified at intake.
RECEIVED: BOOKS
LOG BOOK, RULED, SPIRAL — STANDARD ISSUE. Blank. Verified page by page.
RECEIVED: MISCELLANEOUS
CANDLE, SOY, 9 OZ. — STANDARD ISSUE. Scented after the facility. Upstairs only.
RECEIVED: ART.
SEAL, ADHESIVE, VINYL — STANDARD ISSUE. Affix to any surface. The surface is then on file.
RECEIVED: CLOTHING.
CREWNECK, KNIT — STANDARD ISSUE. Inspected by Unit 7. Unit 7 has never been wrong.
RECEIVED: SOFTWARE.
PUNCH CLOCK, DIGITAL — EFFICIENCY MODEL. Received on reels. Transmitted thereafter.
VERIFICATIONS
No product contains material from endangered species. Verified quarterly. Verified again for the occasion.
Ethically sourced from a completely legitimate workforce.
All staff are of legal working age. Verified at intake.
All schedule inspections passed.
Zero complaints on file.
The showroom is open. Requisitions are accepted.
— The Office of the President